THE CASE FOR PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP

ISSUE: Whether or not platonic friendship is possible

HELD: YES

RATIO: Because when two mature people are capable of being bigger than themselves, falling in love with each other does not always have to be part of the equation.

I'm writing this because I recently watched the movie Definitely Maybe which left me thinking about platonic friendships and how they are really supposed to end. While the film has its own merits, as it's a story about love and second chances and the hope of getting what you truly long for no matter how circuitous the road may be, I was disappointed with the way it tackled the concepts of friendship and love.

Not that I don't believe in friendships turning into love affairs. Cases in point: Monica and Chandler of Friends, Harry and Sally of When Harry Met Sally, Joey and Pacey of Dawson's Creek, Joe and Kathleen of You've Got Mail, and, sorry but this has to be on my list, Peachy and Joaqs of TGIS.

But you have to agree with me that there's so much beauty and promise in friends simply remaining as such. My Best Friend's Wedding, for instance, has the best ending as far as love stories go. It's realistic, honest, sad yet hopeful. It proves that friendship can be just friendship and that your friend's happy ending does not necessarily have to be yours. It shows what tragic things can happen when you stop guarding your heart and base your actions simply on how you feel. It explains why sometimes, the best way to love a friend is to forget yourself, step aside and let him know and decide what he really wants, once and for all.

I know all this because one of my best friends happens to be male. Although we haven't seen each other in a while (because he pursued a more lucrative career abroad), I know that he remains to be one of the few people who really gets me. And our friendship is really just pure friendship. No tension whatsoever. He walked with me through the most terrifying expriences of my life (which includes talking to a detainee inside a city jail for my first case as a law school intern), he was the first person who called me when I passed the bar, he accompanied me to my job interviews, drove me home whenever it was late and I couldn't find a cab, went with me on a pilgrimage and to other religious activities that my other friends did not want to go to; listened to my sob stories even when he found most of them pathetic and acted as my adviser on matters of the heart (although I never really followed any of his advice). In return, I made sure that his bills were paid on time when he studied abroad, befriended this girl she used to like, ran his last-minute errands, and pretended to be an urgent caller every time he needed an escape plan.

This is why I have issues when it comes to love stories where best friends end up with each other. I know from experience that that shouldn't always be the case. Our other friend Kat would attest to this, although she would also be the first to say that our friendship was an exception. But that's precisely what I'm saying: that there is an exception. And once you find it, you should know better than to fall into the "When Harry Met Sally" school of thought. Because not everyone can be Monica and Chandler. And for us who live in the real world, pure friendship minus the complications is definitely better.