THE FATAL DREADED MEMO

I love my job. I really do. The hours are reasonable (in fact, that is an understatement), the people are warm, the work itself is challenging enough especially when a controversial case gets assigned to you every now and then, the pay may not be that impressive but it's just enough, in fact, more than enough if you're single and simple (ahem ahem). And...what stress level? As we often say, hindi uso yun sa CA.

But there is one tiny thing about my job that I absolutely hate: those horrible unflattering uniforms. On normal days, we could easily get away with not wearing them. But as I've been told, in view of the recent controversies that the CA was confronted with, someone hatched the brilliant idea of issuing a memo mandating all court employees to wear their uniforms again. Don't ask me exactly how this ties up with the Court's moral recovery program. I was told that it was, so I won't dare question it.

So today I went to work wearing my green (yes, green!) uniform. And tomorrow, I'll go to work wearing the purple (yes, purple!!!) one. I rarely invoke the fact that I'm a lawyer (except when I have to justify why my IBP ID should be recognized as an official ID which, apparently, very few banks know) but now, I'm just so tempted to do so. Except that there's no point in arguing with the security guards who are just doing their job. And I know that no matter what happens, regardless of how plausible my arguments are, they still wouldn't exempt me from the coverage of that fatal dreaded memo.
Well, at least work still ends at 4:30. No one can have it all.

A SEPTEMBER I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER

I thought I could resist blogging about something that's so eight years ago, but I couldn't. Not when Father Rudy instructed me yesterday to think of the things I should be thankful for, instead of sulking over things I'm obviously not meant to have.

I'm talking about the Bar Exams. For, what other September could be more meaningful for a "pretend lawyer" ( if I may borrow Jo's term) such as myself than that September some years ago when the only thing that mattered was taking and eventually passing the Bar?

The details of that September are forever etched in my mind. For four gruelling Sundays, I had to wake up real early, pray, psyche myself that I was ready, dress up, force myself to eat lest I faint during the exam, check my stuff, walk to La Salle (the hotel where we stayed was 5 minutes away from Gokongwei Bldg), attempt to ignore the cheering crowd (I swear, BarOps could be distracting), find my room and finally take the exam while silently praying at the same time (yes, it can be done if you're that desperate).

The most memorable part for me was when the guy sitting next to me stood up in the middle of Political Law (the 1st exam on the first day) tore his test paper, surrendered it to the watcher and walked out of the room sobbing. Imagine our shock when that happened. The Bar, indeed, is not for the faint-hearted.

When I handed my exam booklet in Ethics (the last exam on the last Sunday), I remember begging God to make me pass, not because I didn't want to do it again, but because I didn't want to subject my family to the same stress and tension all over again. To this day, whenever I doubt my family's love and support for me, I look back to those times and become convinced that I am truly loved.

Today is the last day of the Bar Exams. As I write this, the examinees must be having their Beer-Ops already. I didn't go to any of the post-bar parties during my time. After the last exam, I went straight home and then my mom and I went to the church to hear mass and to thank God for sustaining me. As far as I can recall, that must have been the longest time I ever spent at the blessed sacrament.

When Father Rudy reminded me yesterday to be thankful for all the things that God has blessed me with, especially those which I feel I don't deserve, I knew that passing the Bar should be on top of my list. I know it's been a while since God answered my prayer. But if you've experienced taking the Bar at least once in your life, you'll understand why eight years later, I'm just as thankful.

To the 2008 Bar Examinees, especially those from Lingkod and CLASE, congratulations! You don't have to wait for the results to know that you are blessed. I will keep you in my prayers.

a.k.a. Alessandra

My Facebook friends have been asking me why I'm using the name Alessandra for my Facebook account. The simple answer to that question is that Facebook, for reasons I cannot quite fathom, does not want to accept the name Gay and thus, I was compelled to use my third name even though very few people know about it.

I don't know why I never use Alessandra. Perhaps because it is too long and in grade school, long names spell disaster because one, your friends will never remember them, and two, your teacher would already be asking question number three in your quiz and there you are, still writing the last letter of your name on your pad paper. Believe me. I have three names so I know how it is.

But I think the reason why I don't use Alessandra is that I coudn't identify with it. It's just so not me. And I won't elaborate because if you know me, I mean really really know me, you should know what I mean.

So my friends call me Gay, my closest friends call me Gigay and my family calls me Gaying. Alessandra, on the other hand, is what my mom calls me when she's mad and I need to be reminded of my proper place (as in Alessandra, sumusobra ka na!). And that explains why I will never be at home with it. And why I will never be a fan of Facebook.

THE THINGS YOU REALIZE WHEN YOU'RE SICK

Yes, Darleth, it IS a hopeful song. ;)

Song lyrics | Realize lyrics

NOTE TO SELF: REST

I woke up today with colds and a really bad headache. I'm sick AGAIN. I blame it on the fact that I haven't been taking care of myself lately. The past week, I went home late every night, on account of which, I seem to have developed a bad case of insomnia. So I've been sleeping late (if at all) and waking up early. And then last Friday and yesterday, I was out until 3:00 am even though I knew I had to be up really early the following day.

I know that my body couldn't keep up anymore with the schedule I used to keep five years ago. I know I can't afford anymore to go sleepless for two consecutive nights the way I did when I was in law school. I know I shouldn't be out almost every night of the week especially when I can foresee that my weekend would be full. But still, I do it. And for reasons I don't understand.

So now, I'm paying for it. I have to get well in time for the RLTC in Baguio on Wednesday. Which means I have to go to work tomorrow to finish the case I'm working on before Wednesday. But based on my current state ( I think it's the start of a bad flu), it looks like the only things I'd be doing for the next several days are sleep, rest and contemplate on how I badly need a major lifestyle change. I can almost hear my mom saying, "I told you so."

MY BROTHER'S KEEPER

It all started when I attended a wedding in Tagaytay last February and Jim Orbe was kind enough to drive my car all the way back to Manila. Since Mirac was sleeping at the back seat, Jim and I had the chance to talk about our families, specifically, our blood brothers. I told him I've always wanted to invite my brother RJ to Lingkod but he had so many things going on in his life that he never really had the time to consider my invitation. Jim shared that he had the same experience with his brother and he told me how, with the help of other brothers in community, he was able to finally invite him to Lingkod Greenhills. "I was only asking God for the conversion of my brother," he said, "pero sobra sobra ang response ng Panginoon" (Jim's brother eventually entered the seminary). When I heard that, I was really struck and I felt a surge of hope that this could happen to RJ as well. (Perhaps not enter the seminary [hehe] but be an active member of Lingkod). So I started REALLY praying about it. I also started asking the brothers and sisters from Lingkod to start praying for his evangelization.
Well I'm happy to share that last night, my brother RJ has completed his CLP in Lingkod QC and that he has been telling me since day one that he is now beginning to see the difference that God is making in his life. When Jim gave a talk during the CLP and I told him that my brother was among the participants, he exclaimed "wow, answered prayer!" And it was, indeed.
From this experience, I learned that if we really want to bring a person closer to God, all we have to do is to sincerely desire it, create opportunities for it and trust that God will do the rest. Frankly, I was really doubtful at the start if this could be possible. But thanks be to God, it did happen. I also thank the Lingkod brothers and sisters---special mention goes to Tim, (RJ's DGL), Mark, Francis, Marlon, Jayson (who never failed to make RJ feel welcome all the time), Ted, Bobby and Jim (whose talks made quite an impact on RJ), Tony of Lingkod Manila (his talk in Cavite which RJ heard because he was the one who drove us there was also a major turning point for him) and Anthony of Lingkod Greenhills (who was the one who patiently and consistently texted RJ to attend the CLP ever since RJ attended the ULT a year ago).
There is really no greater joy than the one I felt when I saw my brother commit his life to God and welcome Him in his life. Last night, I couldn't help but think that of all the things I did in my walk with the Lord, this one made Him smile the most. ;)

UP PEP SQUAD!

MATATAPANG! MATATALINO! WALANG TAKOT, KAHIT KANINO! GANYAN KAMING TAGA-UP!

WISDOM FROM A TV COMMERCIAL

I loved this commercial when it first came out years ago. But I love it even more now that I realized something from it: that it's easy to say goodbye when you know what you really want, and that goodbyes need not be melodramatic and lonely after, all.

OUR LIVES ACCORDING TO E-HEADS

In view of the fact that I wasn't able to watch THE E-heads concert, (yes, I'm still bitter about it!), my sister Hazel and my brother RJ attempted to compensate for it by singing our favorite E-heads songs one fine night, with RJ playing the guitar and Ate dictating the lyrics and me on vocals. (nax!) And then we asked ourselves: if you were to pick a line from an E-heads song which speaks about the story of your life, what would that be?

Ate said that for her, it has be this line from Shirley: After three days, nag-ring an telepono ni Shirley. Si binata, ngayo'y nagso-sorry, Ilang minuto at sila'y mag-on na uli! Ganyan ma-in love-love-love! Ganyan ma-in-love.

We teased RJ that these lines tell his story: Ilang beses na akong nagpapa-cute sayo. Di mo man lang napapansin ang bagong T-shirt ko! Sagutin mo lang ako aking sinta'y walang humpay na ligaya.

The brother of my friend resonates with the lyrics of Magasin (iba na ang yong ngiti! iba na ang yong tingin! nagbago nang lahat sayo!) because his high school girlfriend became a starlet several years after they broke up.

Ate and RJ said that mine is Overdrive because of my pathetic driving skills (or the lack thereof). I insisted, however, that my life, according to E-heads, is best described by these words: Pasensya na, kung ako ay umiiyak. Mababaw lang talaga ang luha ko. Di ko mapigil, and aking damdamin. Pwede bang umalis ka na, tumutunog na ang beeper mo. Wag mo na akong pilitin, ako ay walang lakas ng loob para tumanggi. Walang dapat ipagtaka, ako ay pinanganak na torpe dyan sa tabi-tabi.

And I'm not going to explain any further. ;)

HINDI KA ABOGADO KUNG WALA KA NITO

I dismissed a Petition today for improper verification.

Tsk.Tsk.

Hindi sana nangyari kung meron sya nito....

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